Susan Still back to share life lessons with Oprah
Domestic violence survivor Susan Still is making a return appearance with talk-show celebrity Oprah Winfrey at 8 p. m. today on the Oprah Winfrey Network.
Its pretty much an update on how things are going for us, what weve been doing, Still said.
The former Amherst homemakers 2004 domestic violence case made local and national headlines, not only because of assaults on Still often witnessed by the familys three children but because one of the beatings was captured on videotape by her 13-year-old son at the fathers request.
Stills story was first featured on The Oprah Show in 2007. Oprah, herself a former victim of abuse, said at the time that throughout her entire television career shed never seen or heard anything like the Still video she was going to share with viewers that day.
I want to liberate any woman who is watching this and sees herself in Susan, Oprah said.
In response, her show was flooded with calls from abuse victims. So were local criminal-justice and human-resources agencies.
Stills ex-husband, Ulner Lee Still, was sentenced to 36 years in state prison for repeated felony assaults against his wife. It was the longest known sentence given to an abuser in cases where the victim survived.
Four years after Still first appeared on Oprah, the media giant asked Still to meet with her again, this time on her OWN show called Oprahs Lifeclass. The show, which features life lessons for viewers, will focus on abusive relationships tonight. It can be seen locally on cable channel 105.
Titled Lesson 21: Love Doesnt Hurt, Still and her two sons fill in Oprah on life since the 2004 trial, which was first reported on by The Buffalo News.
Love is a safe place to be, Oprah says on her show. That is really what I know.
Still said it can be difficult for people to understand how spousal abuse damages children. In Stills case, her oldest daughter testified on her fathers behalf, and many people harshly judged her adolescent son for videotapi! ng his m others abuse.
They, too, were innocent victims who had a long road to travel to heal, Still said.
When its family violence, its different than stranger violence, she said. Kids still love that other parent.
In the years following Ulner Lee Stills conviction, Susan Still has transformed herself into a survivor who has embraced a mission of educating and training law enforcement personnel about domestic violence, using her own case as an example.
This is what I feel God has for me to do, she said. Its absolutely what I know my path is supposed to be.
Still spoke recently at a training session sponsored by the Child Advocacy Center in Buffalo for lawyers who represent children as law guardians, police officers, judges and prosecutors. Still is also slated to speak at the National District Attorneys Association annual training conference on domestic violence.
At the time of her videotaped beating in 2003, her sons were 8 and 13, and her daughter was a 21-year-old college student estranged from her mother.
Now, Still said, her relationship with her daughter is positive.
Its absolutely great, she said. Its fine now. It takes time to work through things. It takes time to talk about things. There were a lot of unanswered questions on both sides.
Her older son graduated from high school and is a working parent who will be returning to college in the spring semester, Still said. Once seething with resentment, Dane Still, now 22, travels with his mother and speaks out on the impact domestic violence has on kids.
He speaks from his perspective, Still said. He advocates for youth.
Her youngest child, now 16, is a sophomore in high school with a passion for acting and theater.
After enduring 14 years in an abusive marriage and raising children in that environment, Still said, happiness can be hard to find.
There will always be challenges, she said. Once you live like that, there are certain things that never go away. We are forever affected ! by it, b ut we have learned to overcome many of the obstacles, to go ahead and live the happiest life that we can live.