Oprah Winfrey Announces Every Team Gets a Peyton Manning (Humor)
In a wild turn of events, league commissioner Roger Goodellaccompanied by DeMaurice Smith, executive director of the players association, called for an immediate news conference.
The two were shortly joined by billionairemedia proprietor and talk show host Oprah Winfrey for a major announcement. "There will be substantive alterations to the league's entire player landscape," Goodell said bluntly.
Winfrey, an apparent shock junky, has outdone even herself this time.
It was only seven years ago when she announced during her long-televised daytime talk show that all 276 members of her live studio audience would be walking away with brand spanking new cars.
The billionaire talk show host told the audience that everybody will get a new Pontiac G-6 midsize 2005 sports sedan. Winfrey screamed and jumped up and down on the stage, shouting: "Everybody gets a car! Everybody gets a car!"
They even got to choose the specific color of the$28,400, fully-loaded machines.
As a result of Oprah's newest stunt, all 32 NFL teams will reportedly get to put their colors on the $28 million Peyton Manning.
"The Jaguars get a Peyton Manning, the Packers get a Peyton Manning, you get a car!," said Winfrey when asked of her thoughts on the surprise announcement.
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But as Time.com explains, Oprah didn't cover the cost of those 276 cars back in 2004.
Fortunately, Oprah ! didn't h ave to pick up the $7 million tab; that was handled by General Motors. As for the audience members, they each had to fork over $7,000 in taxes or forfeit the gift.
And so it goes for the leagues' teamscough up $28 millionor lose your Peyton Manning.
Unsurprisingly, all 32 teams declined the option-bonus because, all joking aside, who in their right mind would shell out that type of cash for Manning right now? He's a 35-year-old said to be coming off four neck surgeries in the last two years, and he may need more.
But Manning's agent, Tom Codone, really deserves a lot of flack here.
If it wasn't for the language of the contract, which stipulated payment of nearly a third of Manning's five-year, $90 million deal in just one season, who knows where this situation could have gone. Maybe Manning's cap charge wouldn't be sounbearable, and he finishes he career a Colt.
Poor logic there Tom, andit could cost Manning severely.